Gymboree or A.A. Meeting?

We made a few discoveries yesterday at Gymboree that we think need to be shared with you. The first is that we figured out how our teacher always manages to be so happy and chipper. Even when we asked her normal questions and kids were not around, she practically speaks in song and Hallelujah! But, after being avid movie watchers for so many years, your mom and I have learned a thing or two. And, upon closer observation yesterday, we did confirm that your Gymboree teacher is indeed a Stepford wife. I know this may come as a surprise, but we will be there for you to help you cope with the fact that this nice lady is really a robot.

We're not sure exactly why we didn't notice the plastic smile and all-too-perfect skin before. But, when we thought about it it all made perfect sense. You see, anyone who's job it is to play with kids for 8 hours per day and stay happy would have to be a robot.

Yesterday, the Stepford teacher held her little circle time again. The question this week was "how do you capture all of your baby's first moments? Do you have a journal or do you use a video camera?"

Immediately I was struck by total fear. I grabbed your mom and whispered, "whatever you do, do not tell them the URL to our blog." Shit talking always comes back to haunt you.

Glamma showed up to Gymboree yesterday as well. After attempting to run through the various obstacles, Stepford pulled her aside and said, "It's OK if you visit, but you're going to need to crawl out of that tunnel." Glamma was having a little too much fun. A few jars of vaseline later, Glamma was out of the tunnel made for two years olds and we were back on track having a good time at Gymboree. (editor's note: Glamma didn't really play on the toys, but it's fun to think what would have happened if she did).

After Gymboree, we did our typical Starbucks run where we ran into one of the moms from Gymboree. She explained that Gymboree was so much fun because the kids reminded her of alcoholics. Alcoholics? we thought. She quickly explained that all of the kids act drunk because none of them can stand up for very long and they all fall over one another. It's like they're drunks at an AA meeting.

So we learned that Gymboree is really for alcoholics and that your teacher is a robot. And you learned how to say "bubbles" so we've all learned and everything is good in the end. Especially when there's vaseline involved.