Cave Exploration

OK, so it's a well known fact that embarassment becomes part of your daily life as a parent. Whether it's walking around in a shirt fresh from the dry cleaners only to have your little rugrat spit up chunky grape juice mixed with applesauce onto the front of the shirt on your way to work; or having to scream at the little tyke in the middle of the grocery store after watching him or her throw grocery product all over the middle of the aisle, it's no surprise that parentdom tests the humility of even the most liberal parent.

So, it should have come at no surprise last night when you decided to embarass your parents at the local pizza parlor. What happened you ask? Well, the tale goes something like this.

See, your mom and I had just ordered our pizzas and were discussing potential movie rentals for the night (the 300 movies we have at home plus the multiple rentals from Netflix were decidedly not up to par with our highbrow tastes this particular evening). Our waitress was serving the table right next to us, and in order to do so, stood directly behind you with her butt directly behind the back of your head. So, as your mom and I were engaged in our eventful conversation, we didn't notice (at least not in time) you turning around to face the gigantic ass and proceed to spank it.

Now, that in itself wasn't so funny or embarassing as it has happened before. What was embarassing was the waitress' reaction. You see, the waitress must have been unaware of her surroundings; so, not knowing that a baby was DIRECTLY BEHIND HER, she felt something grab at her ass. Her instints must have told her it was your dad because she began pulsating her pelvic region in complete astonishment; caught offguard by the sudden molestation of the junk in her trunk.

All was well once she realized that a dirty man was not the culprit of this very-public molestation. But, the experience did make us question your sexuality...just for a moment.