What Are You, Mike Tyson?

OK, so you how do we put this? I guess there is no other way to say it...YOU BIT ANOTHER CHILD!! What the hell! I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later, but seriously....you? We knew you were anti-social..but we didn't think you were aggressive.

So, what happened? Here's the play by play.

Dad's friend from work came over w/ his wife and baby, Zoe. You didn't take a big liking to Zoe, but you had just woken up from a nap and we thought you just had to shake off your cobwebs. Well, after a while, you did get rid of your cobwebs and you starting playing w/ Zoe. It looked like you two were getting along fine, playing w/ toys and such. And we thought you liked her so much that you bent over to give her a kiss. "Aaawwww" the entire room exclaimed as you kissed Zoe.....and continued to kiss Zoe...and you kept going and going. Soon it occurred to mom that maybe you weren't kissing Zoe...maybe you were, dare we think, BITING!?

The screams, bite marks, and bruises confirmed that you did indeed bite the innocent child. So, we threw your ass in a timeout. So, the house was an orchestra of cries for some time. But, the whole experience left us scratching our heads and wondering, "What are you? Mike Tyson?"


These markings prove you are crazy.


The infamous teeth that perpetrated another baby.

Bee-zlebub

OK, so this blog is all about Ayjia, but every once in a while something so major happens in our life that we just have to post it here. Yesterday, dad was washing his car and our across the street neighbor started freakin' out. Dad paused and looked across the street to find that our neighbor had just found a GIGANTIC swarm of bees in their tree. Check this out...


This is a picture looking out our front door. Notice the big brown spot in the tree.


This is a close up picture that your mom had the balls to take.


And even closer...Mom could have just used zoom you know.

(Mall)Rat Race

So, your dad gets a new car for his birthday and wants to drive it anywhere and everywhere. And, we had this old carseat sitting in the garage, so we equipped dad's car to accommodate you. But since this new car is entirely out of our routine, we forget pretty much everything now wherever we go. Our first lesson came the day after your dad bought the car and we took you to the mall. We knew we were going to be at the mall for a few hours and we stupidly forgot your stroller. Granted, you walk a lot, but sticking you in a stroller against your will usually takes a lot less time when trekking through all of the 13 year olds crowding the aisles at the mall. Luckily, we brought along your aunt Jennifer who informed us that the mall gives out strollers for free. How cool is that? But even cooler is that the stroller is shaped like a car! So, after dad zoomed you to the mall in his new car, you took over the driver's seat and peeled out through all of the blissfully unaware teenagers (they were too focused on looking at one another to notice a baby w/ a mohawk driving a red car stroller). And, although it's not quite as fast as dad's new car, you certainly look just as good in this lil' red sports car!

Ayjia Gets A Backyard

So, because your dad is cheap and lazy, you've gone through your first 15 months of life without a backyard. But, your dad (and by dad we mean mom) finally got off his (her) ass and made some calls, got some estimates, and bought you a backyard. Of course, dad did have something to do with it...he paid for it. But, otherwise, this is mostly your mom's doing. So, you can't walk on the grass for two more weeks, but other than that, you're all set up for the summer.

Now we just need a BBQ to keep us occupied while you're doing gymnastics on that grass....

Little Page Boy...err...Girl

Last of the Faux-Hicans

Well, for dad's birthday, we decided to get both you and him haircuts.....err, MATCHING haircuts. You both got faux-hawks. Yours looks a little better than dad's, but then again, you can't compete with perfection. After getting your haircut, we all went to glamma's house for birthday BBQ and cake (and beer). Of course you didn't have any of the beer, but you enjoyed the BBQ and ESPECIALLY the cake (you really do take after your dad...except for the beard). You and dad are getting your fair share of looks w/ your look-a-like hairdos, but rock stars do command attention, so you can't blame 'em.

We were a little hesitant to cut your hair at first because if you want a mohawk (or hair dye or bleach, etc) we're OK w/ it, but we didn't want to project our rocker fashion upon you unless you wanted it. But, after a (very short) discussion, we decided that you didn't know best yet. You can do with your hair as you please once you're old enough, but for now we're OK w/ subjecting you to public ridicule. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And, the fact that you no longer have a mullet is pretty cool too!

Do You Sink She's Comfortable?

Go Carts!

Unfortunately, we don't have a picture for this one...yet. But, we've found your new favorite thing in the whole world. A new Raley's superstore opened near our house and they have these cool shopping carts that look like race cars. Yeah, its pretty neat, but this post has nothing to do w/ those.

No, now when we take you shopping, you don't want to ride in those cool new carts...no, your little goat self wants to push the normal shopping carts all by yourself! It's super cute watching a 20 lb (btw..you need to gain weight according your wonderful pediatrician and her graphs...so eat more like your dad and you'll be sure to put on some weight - well, at least on your ass....but we digress) baby push a 50 lb shopping cart, but after a few minutes, we want to get a move on (your little legs can only move so fast).

But, god forbid that your parents push the shopping cart. Why would we want to do such a thing and cause such a scene? So, now your happier going to the store, but our shopping trips take a little longer than they used to. Now, if only we can teach you to put our grocery list into the cart, then shopping would be much easier. And, maybe then your mom and I could make out in the back of one of those shopping carts shaped like a race car. And, hey, maybe in 9 months you can have a little brother or sister ;)

Cowgirl Up!

First pink socks w/ a blue onesie. Now, a cowboy hat w/ a striped shirt. We know what you're thinking..."Why aren't they fashion designers?"

Turn Off Da Lights, Yo!

Every night before you go to bed, we take you into the bathroom to brush your teeth to the tune of a STUPID, monotone, repetitive song that goes a little something like this: "Brush, brush, brush your teeth!" I know...however did we come up with the lyrics!? But, before we do that you always ask to "ligh!!" which is baby for "turn on the light!" So, we sit you down and you go to town with the switch (no not the switch that my mom used to use on my red, Greek ass), the light switch! And, then after we're done brushing your teeth with your "Melmo" (which is baby for Elmo) toothbrush, you sit back down to turn off the light. We're all about routine with you...and it seems to work as every night you pretty much go to bed at 9:00pm (got that, Mom? 9:00pm...not 8:00pm) (it's 9:00pm because of the time change, DAD! Get over it...I'm right.) without a fuss. And that's not something that many parents of a baby can say....well, not without lying anyways.

Oh, and while we're on it...we're guessing that you're reading this blog from your crib at night (thank the Lord...and Intel...for wireless) because you are now sleeping through the night again.

Seacrest out!

Corporate Chic

Thanks to our T.A., Ivan, Ayjia has been inducted to her dad's corporate world. If this doesn't get dad a promotion, we're not sure what will...

Auntie Stina would be SO happy to see that we have published your faux hawk...

Bike Bike Bike Bike Bike Bike Bike

So, a couple of things are going on lately. First of all, we wanted to make sure that we wrote about your passionate affair with the bike. Almost every night when dad comes home from work, the two of you will play for a couple hours. And, almost every night when you two play you will find your bike and say, "bike." Dad then puts you on the bike, says "put your feet", you put your feet on the pedestal, and then dad zooms across the living room and family room while you smile from ear to ear. Most of the time dad is not drunk (he's only buzzed), so you safely stay on the bike. But, there have been a few times that dad has let you go too early and you've wrecked. But, being a kid is about collecting bumps and bruises, so its OK.

But wait, we exaggerated something. You see, lately when you want something, like...oh I don't know...to ride a bike...you will repeat what you want INCESSANTLY until you get what you want. So when you ask dad to ride your bike, you don't say "bike" - you say, "bike bike bike bike bike bike bike bike bike...", well, you get the point.

Now, if you just did that with the bike, that would be OK. But you do it with absolutely EVERYTHING lately and it gets on our nerves. Just so you know, we are your parents (despite your mom's claims that you may have a different father), and we understand what you're saying the first time. There is no need to repeat it over and over (and over) again. Got it? So next time you think about repeating yourself, don't! Just shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up.

Ok, now go ride your bike. Dad has to go turn this buzz into a full drunken stupor.