A Queen, A Princess and the Golden Sunglasses

Note to audience: this entry MUST be read in a british accent

Once upon a time there was a baby girl named Ayjia. She was the most beautiful baby in all the land. Not only was she the most beautiful, but she was also the smartest baby that ever lived. This was simply due to the fact that she had the most beautiful and smartest mama in the whole wide world. (note to audience: guess....just guess which one of us is typing this). (note to audience: my apologies for that RUDE interuption... back to the story) However, in this story, beautiful , smart, mama queens have beautiful and smart bad days every once in a while, too.

This queen mother had done a fabulous job of teaching the royal term "poo poo" to the beautiful princess Ayjia every time her fabulous face would turn red in regal concentration of the "poo poo" task. The queen mama worked day and night in an attempt to hear the beautiful princess Ayjia speak the long awaited royal words. The queen waited days and alas, no sucess. Weeks passed and the queen did her royal duty, without fail to teach the princess the important words. The queen grew tired of her endless doody duty.

She begged and pleaded with the king to give her a break from the chores of raising such a fine and perfect being (in her own image, nonetheless). The king begrudgingly rose from his royal computer throne and pryed his regal fingers from the royal iMac and agreed to allow the queen to rest from her weeks and weeks of "poo poo" work. The queen retired to her chambers for a long overdue beauty rest.

The king was joyus to see his daughter playing with her royal 4-legged subjects, Countesses Storm and Naked and the humerous court jester, Tigger. All (of) the sudden, the princess stopped. A familiar glassy-eyed look took hold. The princess' royal face flushed, her cheeks persed with force... and then... it happened. The king stared at his daughter, thinking, should I awake the queen? Will her royal heiny need tending?... Did she or didn't she? The question was quickly answered. The royal princess, proudly walked over to her father, the king, and said with utter confidence and unmistakable enunciation, "poo poo!!!!!" and continued playing with her royal subjects. What a proud day for the king!

Later that day, after hearing of her daughters LONG AWAITED accomplishment (that she was not there for), the queen, the king and the princess went to the ultra shiek palace of Le WalMart. (note: it's "Le" Wal Mart in this story, because like the French, Le Wal Mart is dirty and stinky). (legal note: we love the french and their marvelous fries... thanks for the statue)

The queen, after having many diet cokes and a tremendoulsy full bladder, decided to use the the facilities. Unlike Canada, in Le Wal Mart, when using the facilities, a royal paper toilet seat protector is absolutely necessary to protect a queen's royal bum. After doing her royal duty as if she had just been defrosted from chryogenic frozen state, the queen attempted to finagle the toilet seat protector down the toilet when the royal sunglasses dropped from their holding place, between her bossom, and fell directly into the now golden showered toilet bowl.

After missing the princess' long awaited accomplishment and losing her beloved sunglasses, the royal queen could say only one thing:

"poo poo."