Heed Tu Madre's Warning

So your dad is a little notorious for rough housing. And, it's finally gotten me in trouble...although not the way I thought it might. See, I love to throw you around and juggle you in the air with various sharp objects (knives, swords, flamethrowers, you know...the usual) and your mother (God bless your mother) always says, "You better stop because she just ate!"

But, it's been like....I don't know...forever since you've been spitting up and throwing up and well, I always thought your mom was a little over protective.

Well, that was then and this is now. Your mom is not over protective. No, she is the best mom in the world, not to mention the smartest human alive.

So, what happened you ask? The other day after playing Mr. Mom in the morning and feeding you a nice big lunch (I was off work and your mom was sick), I decided to grab you and throw you up in the air to make you laugh (I really love it when you laugh). And, although I'm not sure exactly what happened, I think I pressed the red, emergency button on your stomach. You know, the one that they use for the Heimlech maneuver. And so, as does happen when the button is pressed, you puked.

Now, that in itself....not such a big deal. What sucked is that you were up in the air above my head. Also, not such a big deal...daddy's a big boy and can clean up puke w/ the best of 'em. No, what sucked is that you puked IN MY MOUTH! What type of devil spawn are you?

Now, just in case you're wondering..let me describe the taste. As if puke didn't taste bad enough already (yes, i'm all too familiar...too many nights after too many Captain and Cokes), someone ELSE'S puke tastes even worse. It's as if your own puke puked...it's like puke squared.

So, dad, being the calm, collected, idealistic role model that he is did what any great dad would do. He threw you down as quickly as possible, starting screaming like a girl and running (as if his ass was on fire) towards any object that spewed water...or any other liquid that could rinse out the flavor of puke....squared.

Yes, your dad is a girl. But, it's OK cuz your mom is a dude. So, it all works out in the end.

Epilogue: water was not able to rinse out the taste of the puke so I had a chocolate mint from See's....Mmmmmmm....chocolate. What did you do again?